Resurrecting A Dead Marriage
by Rev. Al Hughes
Scripture Reference: John 11:1-46
At the county clerk's office a couple applying for a marriage license complained that they were having a hard time finding a clergyman who would tie the knot without requiring premarital counseling. The groom to be moaned, "What do I need counseling for? I've already been married three times!" Regardless of our experience, there is always room for more Biblical knowledge that will strengthen and help our marriage. This month the Barna Group released findings of a recent survey showing Christian marriages are now ending in divorce at the same rate as non-Christian marriages! In our ?feel-good? society, many abandon their marriage when they cease being fun. This is troubling because we are the ones who supposed be leading the fight to preserve traditional man/woman marriage against those who want to legalize "same-sex" marriage.
Satan hates marriage. He attacked marriage from the very beginning by driving a wedge between the man and the woman. He drives a wedge be-tween man and God. That is Satan s method Divide and conquer. As Pastor, I see the pressing need to address the growing crisis of trou-bled marriages in our church (this is a problem that is in all churches). Last week I attended a Pastor s luncheon dealing with the subject: "Saving Marriages Before (and After) They Start!" It was a breathe of heaven! There is hope for ANY marriage!
Someone may say, "It's a little late to shut the gate after the horse is already out of the corral." That is a statement that reflects a defeatist attitude. If a rancher had that kind of attitude, he d be a failure. Suppose I had a prize horse worth lots thousands of dollars. One day, someone forgets to close the gate and my prize horse gets out. You inform me, "Hey, your horse has gotten out of the corral!" What would you think if I said, "Well, it s a little late to shut the gate after the horse has gotten out!" You d think either the horse wasn't worth very much, or I didn't care. If I really valued the horse, I'd go out after that horse and bring it back!
If Satan has driven a wedge between you are your spouse, and you still value your marriage, go out there and get it back! Jesus came to the tomb of Lazarus. Lazarus had been dead four days. Jesus had the men remove the stone that sealed the tomb. After He prayed, He called to the dead, decaying, corpse that laid in the tomb "Lazraus, come forth." Instantly the putrefying body of Lazarus heard the Word of God and responded with new life. The heart began to beat again. The lungs began to expand with air. Lazarus came forth ALIVE from the dead! That's what the Word of God does - It gives life. It's the living Word - the "word of life." Jesus can do the same today as He speaks His Word to the tomb of your dead, decomposing marriage, dead romance, dead relationships, dead hopes and dreams. Dead as Lazarus' corpse.
The first step in saving a marriage is DECIDE not to pull the plug (v. 3). Decide divorce is not an option! "What God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." That is God's will for your marriage. Mary and Martha called for help!
A. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage.
B. Marriages are either healthy or they're unhealthy. Too many who have sick marriages just pull the plug! They give up! There are plenty of Dr. Kevorkians who advise hurting marriages to take the easy way out and commit martial suicide. "Get a divorce. You're better off single." "You'll marry again soon." Would you consider suicide an option to copping out of life? If your marriage is unhealthy, it can be healed. The Great Physician can restore life and health to your marriage.
C. When I do marital counseling, the first thing I ask is "Do you want this marriage to work? Yes or No? Those are the only answers I want to hear. "Well, I just can't make up my mind. I don't know." That is a NO! INDECISION IS NO. There is no such thing as indecision — You either decide to decide or you decide not to decide, but that's a decision. If "no" is your answer, I cannot help you and God cannot help you!
The second step in saving your marriage is to believe God.
A. Mary and Martha could not raise Lazarus, but they could believe Christ could (vs. 17-27). "I've tried everything." Then try believing God! Have FAITH!
B. Marriages that have been assassinated by hateful words, adulterous affairs, bitter memories, can be resurrected. If God can raise a man that's been dead for four days, He can also raise a dead marriage. If God can put life into the dead womb of Abraham's wife Sarah, He can put new life into the deadness of your marriage! The prophet Hosea was married to a prostitute Gomer. Gomer kept leaving Hosea to go back to her former lovers. Yet, God restored Hosea's marriage. It is a picture of God's adulterous wife, Israel, and how even that marriage will be someday restored.
The third step in saving your marriage is to do your part. You must cooperate with Christ (vs. 33-41). If you really believe, you will follow Christ's instructions. Belief is the fuel of behavior. You do your part even if your spouse doesn't do their part! The resurrection was not up to Mary or Martha. The resurrection was not up to Lazarus. The resurrection was the working of Christ.
A. Pray (without ceasing).
B. Be consistent in your own walk with the Lord. Stay close to God.
Karen Hockley walked away from God and church for five years! But the consistency of her husband, Rod, taking their daughter Jennifer to church eventually brought her back to God. Today she serves the Lord with her husband and daughter singing Gospel music.
C. Forgive
D. Love Away with the excuse: I just don't love him/her anymore. King Solomon said in his love song, "Love is as strong as death. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it." (Song 8:6-7). Paul said in the love chapter, "Charity sufferth long. Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth." (1 Cor. 13).
E. Change. Jesus' first miracle was performed at a wedding. The hosts ran out of wine. The pots were empty. Mary told the people, "Whatever Jesus tells you to do, do it!" Jesus told them to fill the empty pots with water. They did, and Jesus turned the water into new wine! He can turn emptiness into fullness. He can change that which is sour into sweetness.
A farmer had a dog that fell down a old dried up well. The dog survived the fall and began barking. The farmer heard it and looked down the well and saw the dog. He thought how much trouble it would be to try to get that dog out of the well. The dog was old and the well was dried up anyhow, so he decided just to fill in the well and bury the dog. He just wasn't worth saving. He began to dump dirt down into the well. Down at the bottom was the dog with dirt falling all over him. Was he just going to give up and be buried or was he going to do something about it? He decided that every time a shovel full of dirt was thrown on him, he would just shake it off and step on it. He would rise above it! After a while the dog was at the top again! In a marriage sometimes you're the dumper and sometimes you're the dumpee. Shake off the dirt, step on top of it, and rise above it!
Rev. Al Hughes is Pastor of Bible Baptist Church in Port Orchard, Washington. You can reach him by going to their web site at:
www.biblebaptistportorchard.com.
copyright 01/01
