Power of Three
by Tim and Melanie Dykes
(Melanie) Raised in Christian homes, we both attended church and Sunday School and knew Jesus at a young age. Teen years, however, turned our attention away to other things.
In high school, Tim began to hang out and go to parties, which lead to the peer pressure of drinking to have fun. Tim continued drinking when he joined the Army after high school. In the Army, drinking was the focus of all "time-off" activity for almost everyone, including Tim. Drinking was common on the beach, at barbeques and in bars. After being discharged from the Army, Tim lived with a bunch of bachelors and his drinking was continuous. At one point, a DWAI (driving while alcohol impaired) was even issued to Tim - but it was quickly forgotten.
(Tim) My drinking diminished after Melanie and I began dating in January 1996. In July, we were engaged and I began to leave my life as a bachelor behind - and all that went with it. Three days before our wedding, the pressure in my life began to mount. Our approaching wedding, lay-offs that changed my work environment and income, pressed my stuffed feelings in search of an outlet. Celebrating my last few days as a bachelor, I began partying? at work! I called Melanie for a ride home, then continued my silent descent that eventually built to an explosive rage. I unleashed emotions by destroying my home, spraying fire extinguishers, dumping food, and attempting to set the building on fire! I had lost my mind to alcohol. When the police arrived, they ran my license and behold, the DWAI record appeared. They took me to jail and I was sentenced to twenty days. Amazingly, with the help of my mom, my sentence was dropped and I was free after less than one day. I believed I had learned my lesson.
(Melanie) Our wedding day was a wonderful new beginning. Even though we experienced the financial hardship and other pressures that hit young marriages, after three years, Tim still had not gone back to drinking. We were happy and strong, and decided it was time to build our dream house. We moved in with my parents, saved some money and began to see our dream home become a reality.
As the house was built, something else began building. Tim's job was becoming more and more intolerable, and he began stuffing his feelings again. Going out with the guys after work led to one innocent drink - which led to the familiar descent into darkness. He began drinking uncontrollably, responding with the guilt that led to more drinking. For help, Tim tried Alcoholics Anonymous and marriage counseling, but did not get the level of intervention he needed. He felt powerless to change.
(Tim) The house was almost built when Melanie was pushed into giving me an ultimatum. I had to quit drinking or we would not move into our new home - a dream we had had since the beginning of our marriage. I quit again, and our dream home, like the wedding, seemed like another new beginning. But soon after, my drinking began with a new fervor -- making the next few months unbearable for both of us. Melanie was consumed with worry as I reached the end of my rope.
(Melanie) Feeling powerless myself and realizing it would take more then I could offer, I desperately turned our hopeless situation over to God. I began to introduce my trust in God to Tim by inviting him to a different church -- hoping it would signal another new beginning. In the Fall of 2000, I began attending the new church and was filled with renewed hope in God and His miraculous power. I dragged Tim along as often as possible. Upon hearing Hebrews 12:2, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God," Tim was moved to give his drinking over to God. Trusting the truth of His words, Tim was determined to keep his eyes on Jesus and ask Him for the power to stop drinking.
(Tim) As we both focused on God, thankfully, I stopped drinking, and our relationship began to heal. We have learned that it takes more than the two of us to make it through the stresses of life, and to make our relationship healthy and strong. With our focus on God and the trust He has built in us, we realize it takes more than we have in ourselves. Without God, our power is incomplete. But with Him we have the miraculous power of three.
Melanie and Tim Dykes are faithful friends of Positive Solutions. They attend West Bowles Community Church and are available to share their ministry to marriages with other couples. Contact them at 720-922-8947 or email
3powerof3@gmail.com
copyright 01/04
